It’s good to take advice from the experienced in all fields of life, that includes marriage. Here is an insightful account from a man who was married for 16 years. It helps to know how to keep your relationship on the right track.
This advice maybe a little extreme as his advice highlights those relationships where you make your partner the centre of your universe. That is a dangerous hallmark of a co-dependent relationship but he does share some kind of truth.
- Never stop courting
Don’t ever take your partner for granted once you are married. Don’t get lazy in your love just because the knot is tied. Continue to be active in the relationship and continue to court your partner and make them feel wanted.
- Fall in love everyday
Both of you will constantly change. You will not be the same people when you got married and in five years you will not be the people you are now. Fall in love with the new them, embrace them whole heartedly and make them love you too. You choose to be together every day.
- Always see the best in them
Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their flaws. Focus on what you love about that person. That generally triumphs all flaws. Whatever you focus on will grow and become the centre of everything. Don’t find a reason to bug you, and then it will continue to do so.
- It is not your job to fix them
You are not your partner’s therapist. Your job is to simply love them without having the expectation of change. That does not mean you need to fix their broken parts at the cost of your own health. Everything you do, do it out of love, don’t do it as an obligation. That eventually becomes work.
- Take accountability for your actions
You are responsible for your own happiness. It is not their job or duty to keep you happy. Find what makes you happy and focus on that but don’t ever make your partner feel responsible for it.
- Allow your partner to just be
When they are sad or upset, you just have to be there for them. it is not your job to fix it, it is your job to hold them through it. Don’t run away in these tough times. Be a listening ear, a supportive shoulder and a firm hand. Let them know you are there for them and let them process their feelings without trying to fix the situation with your thoughts and opinions.
- Give them space
You should constantly tell your partner to make some time for themselves. It is very easy to get lost in a relationship and after one point you lose your sense of identity and individuality. Don’t let that happen for yourself or for them. They will shut off if they don’t get their space.